Updated: Dec 10, 2019
Often, no one will speak on the subject of pornography, but we are all affected by it, whether directly or indirectly. Bringing pornography into the light informs us to be more aware that pornography is a particular sin that hides beneath the surface of our entire culture. Porn disguises itself in the movies we watch, the music we listen to, the books we read, and other reachable places such as Snapchat, Twitter, and other areas of social media. Our minds have become so numb to this subtle but destructive force that we completely miss how it is constantly right in front of our faces. As pornography infiltrates every area of our society, we are all susceptible to its influence, its message and its lies.
I wrote this article because I want to speak to men and women and let the truth penetrate through the lies created by pornography.
The other night, I watched The Notebook with some friends of mine, and it brought me back to the ten other times I had watched it in my middle and high school years. I remember falling in love with that entire movie years ago. Interestingly enough, when I watched it several nights ago, after the movie finished, I ended up yelling at the T.V. My response was
“What in the world was that?! That’s not what love looks like!”
I wondered why my views had changed; years ago, I watched it and saw it as the epitome of relationship goals.
For those who deeply love that movie, I am not trying to condemn the entire film. I just noticed that ever since the beginning scene, the intentions were founded on lies and throughout the movie, the lies just kept piling up. This so called “love” in this movie, was an unhealthy, impulsive, addictive, passionate love which continued in the midst of being engaged to another individual. Most romantic movies end up with similar plots that promote the idea of idolizing “love” that is filled with sin and lies. God did not create love just for us to waste it as the movie industry has encouraged us to do. Love has been twisted and been turned into something quite messy.
The misperception of love influences our minds to slowly accept whatever we see. When we allow ourselves to continue to read, listen, or watch ungodly things, our mind is filled up with whatever we let the heart be exposed to.
Five lies the world emphasizes on love:
1.Love is a feeling and driven by emotion. - This lie opens the door to follow our fleshly desires and leaves us empty in the end.
2. Love is something you need instantly to be happy. - This lie causes us to believe that we can disrespect others because of our personal needs.
3. You can move on if you don’t feel that affection of love anymore.- This lie encourages us to pursue whatever the heart desires.
4. Love has no boundaries, so love whoever you desire. - This lie exposes us to live outside the boundaries and commandments of God’s will.
5. Overall, the world promotes a love that is fleeting. In the world’s perspective, love is an image, not an action.
Five truths on God’s definition of love
Love does not give halfheartedly but respects and honors.
Love is founded by the Father. Our love streams from His love.
God has placed boundaries in the love He created because He loves us and we can trust that His ways are higher than our own.
Love is not to be thrown away but protects and treasures. Christ is our prime example.
I Believed the Lies.
Before I believed that there could be freedom from the consequences of pornography, I had developed a negative image of men from my and my friends’ dating experiences. I believed that men viewed women as objects which lead to experiences that only ended in heartbreak and disappointment. I desired to be loved, but I was in a hard place because I believed the lie that every man had wrong intentions.
In the past, I used to grab ahold whatever Hollywood illustrated on television and entrusted that it was a true meaning of love as I desperately wanted a love like that.
However, Jesus completely changed my perspective of the definition of love.
For the Women out there
Pornography is damaging not only to men, but to women as well. Guys are not the only ones who can become addicted to pornography; it can potentially grab ahold of women too. Also, it poisons our belief about ourselves- are we attractive, sexy, and desirable enough? Is our worth stacked up against images that are airbrushed and unobtainable? Are we loved for who we are or simply as a object for pleasure? If you are a woman and reading this, I want to ask you, how has pornography controlled and wounded you? Are you holding tightly to the belief that men only desire the lust, not love? Hollywood has mixed up the two making us believe they are one in the same.
Just because one man treated you with no worth, it does not speak for the other men who live godly lives and respect women. After all, there will always be those certain men with bad intentions but there are also godly men out there who may potentially struggle with pornography but try to separate themselves from it. To all the women: There is a man created to love you that will treat you like a delicate flower and a queen. He will deal delicately with you and nurture you; he will not take advantage of your beauty, but appreciate it.
For Guys out there.
It must be difficult to stay away from pornography when our culture has advertised it in every area of our lives. We as women applaud you for having the strength of God’s help to surrender what the world screams in your face. Even if you have become entangled by pornography, just remember you are not defined by your struggles! Jesus wants to set you free. If it has not captured your mind in an out of control habit, do not let the subtle lies and images lull you into thinking that there is no harm in just looking. What you see will capture your mind and define your views of women, relationships, and love. Since we have been cleansed, we should desire to continue to live freely rather than use the freedom to choose to live out our fleshly desires. The Father sees you as his holy child. Never forget that our sins have already been conquered.
Isaiah 1:18- "Come now, let us settle the matter," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”
Create in me a new heart
Jesus grabbed ahold of my heart and healed me. Oddly enough, after the season of healing, my heart and mind can only handle childish Disney movies. I would much rather watch movies like Frozen, Zootopia, or Tangled than any other movie. This change occurred in my heart because my mind is now sensitive to negative messages in movies that exploit love as sexual impulses. I also have noticed that when I listen to other music genres outside of my worship music, my thoughts and actions have a slight change. I usually notice myself becoming quick to anger when I get stuck in traffic, desire thoughts that have popped up because of a particular song I listened to, or comparing myself to others. This is not always the case, but I find a more positive spirit in my attitude when I blast my worship music.
I don’t expect you to just watch Disney movies the rest of your life, it is just my personal conviction of mine and a personal testimony. We all are called to different convictions. Where do you draw the line in your personal life of opening the door to things that can damage or destroy who you are and how you will view others?
Honestly, I would not choose write on this topic on my own but God specifically spoke to me to write and speak about pornography. He gave me the words to write because pornography is a sin we all hate but do not know how to handle and rid of it properly.
Jesus desires to breakthrough the destructive nature of pornography in movies, in our music, and in our everyday lives, and display the true meaning of his love that overcomes all of those lies.
Isaiah 57: 18- "I have seen their ways, But I will heal them; I will guide them and restore comfort to Israel's mourners, creating praise on their lips. Peace, peace to those far and near,” says the Lord. “And I will heal them.
Colossians 3:5-10 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
Picture credits: E.M.