Updated: Dec 10, 2019
I am so honored Victoria asked me to be a guest writer for this blog. When we first met in college, we immediately bonded over our passions for Jesus, blogging, and supporting women, & I have fond memories of our many coffee dates to discuss these things in depth.
I want to extend the conversations we’ve had with you. If I could, I would get coffee with each one of you so I could get to know your story and hear about God’s work in your life. So as I sit in Starbucks writing this blog, I want you to imagine that you’re here with me & we’re just chatting over coffee.
If I’m being honest, the conversation about feminism is getting a little old for me. Don’t get me wrong, I could talk all day about what I support & don’t support within modern feminism, but I’m not going to. What I’ve found is that the more I talk about politics and fashion, the more none of that matters.
What the world wants to say about us holds no weight compared to who God says we are. So for me the conversation has shifted from feminism to biblical womanhood.
So, in this blog I want to talk about how God views women & how important it is that we find our identity in what he has to say about us. Feminism has a lot of negative connotations with it, but it is essentially an avenue meant to stand up for women’s rights.
This means that it often focuses on the rights women don’t have yet. But instead of looking at what we lack in culture, let’s look at who we are in Christ. Let’s look at what every woman across the globe has in common. I believe this will unite us greater than any rally or music video ever could.
I have only just begun the journey of defining biblical womanhood, and I know I have much more to learn. But what the Lord has taught be recently is this: seeking biblical womanhood is returning to our true identities as daughters of God and calling out that identity in our sisters.
To understand what that identity is, let’s look at two of my favorite women in the Bible: Mary and Martha. These women were sisters who followed Jesus, and more than that, they knew Jesus and He knew them. He was the kind of friend who stood beside them as they wept together over the death of their brother.
First let’s talk about Mary. Oh, sweet Mary. I need to be careful when talking about her because I could go on forever about how she has changed my perspective of who Jesus is, making this coffee date of ours never-ending (is that such a bad thing, though?). Mary is found numerous times at the feet of Jesus, listening to his teaching, and loving every second she can spend in his presence.
My favorite story of hers is found in John, where she pours expensive perfume on his feet and wipes it with her hair in an act of reckless worship. Think about it, what she did wasn’t graceful in the slightest.
It was messy and time-consuming and awkward. And all the while, she was being ridiculed by the spiritual leaders in the room because what she did was definitely not culturally acceptable.
Mary’s choices make me wonder if I would be willing to put myself out there to worship Jesus despite the opinions of others. If worship wasn’t culturally acceptable, or maybe if it were illegal as it is in many countries, would we still do it?
I can only hope and pray to be as devoted as Mary was. Even though what she did was messy and I’m a type A personality, I pray I would welcome that type of mess in my life. Her messiness shows me that pouring out my worship is more important than having it all together.
If this isn’t the most beautiful picture of a free woman, I don’t know what is. I’m getting chills just thinking about it! She took the chance of being rejected because she trusted what Jesus had to say more than she cared about the opinions of those watching. She didn’t hold back. She knew she was enough. She was free.
In another story as recorded by Luke, we see Mary and Martha welcoming Jesus into their home. Mary can be found once again at the rabbi’s feet, which was a sign of discipleship at this time.
Then enters Martha. Martha was in the kitchen preparing dinner as any good host would be. But was she actually doing everything right?
As I mentioned, I’m a type A personality. I care a lot about preparing everything just right for people, especially down to the details. I honestly feel like Martha and I would have been best friends, and I relate to her more than anyone else in the Bible.
While Jesus was at her house, she was flustered and stressed and complaining that her sister wasn’t helping her. Can anyone else relate? You better believe I can.
At her house, Martha was creating a space for her friends, but it wasn’t one free of comparison and bitterness toward her sister. Jesus responds with compassion in his voice, calling Martha’s name and telling her that Mary has chosen the better thing.
This wasn’t a condemnation for hosting dinner or an insult against women in any way. This was a lesson for all of us to love our sisters.
Martha had placed too much of her identity in what she was doing, and this caused her to judge her sister for not doing the same thing. As women, it is most important that we support each other not only in what we’re doing, but in who we are.
We are daughters, chosen and set apart, made to work in unity for the glory of God.
Something powerful happens when faithful women come together and choose to support each other as divinely created individuals. We can encourage each other to fix our attention back on the only one who’s worthy of our praise and adoration. We can point each other to Jesus.
A quick story. The other day as I was walking into church, I was adjusting my shirt and making sure I looked presentable since I was already a solid 10 minutes late (which has happened an embarrassing amount of times).
As I walked up, the lady at the door assured me that I looked great and gave me the biggest hug I’ve ever received from a stranger. It was such a wonderful, beautiful way to join my brothers and sisters in worship. She gave me the chance to walk in with a little more confidence and a little less insecurity.
This is biblical womanhood. Unlike Martha, this lady at church called out the good in me, her sister. She saw even a quick interaction as a chance to love. She created a space of acceptance and comfort rather than comparison. And as this coffee date comes to an end, I pray that you feel the same.
This kind of culture among women can only be based on the love of Christ. We love because he first loved us, and without him, our attempts to love each other will fall short. No one is a greater supporter of women than Jesus.
Moving forward, my prayer is that we keep our gazes fixed on Jesus, no matter what the world says about us. May we continue to find our identities as daughters of God and seek ways to encourage the same in our sisters.