Singleness Saved My Life

For my single friends who may feel they have missed it or those who carry a weight of loneliness, I wrote this blog to re-define singleness.

God has done a great work in my journey and I hope to spark encouragement in hearts who read this. If I could describe my journey of singleness- it has felt like a combination of a slow dance with Jesus /roller-coaster all at once.

But as I look back, I know the Father protected me from many opportunities where I could have been taken out. Singleness did more than just save my life. It added a greater weight to my call and purpose on earth.

Singleness has probably been one of the biggest blessings in disguise. I didn’t always agree that it was blessing, but along the way, I discovered my inner “spirit man”.

I never chose to be single. I’d rather be married with kids, but I chose to follow God and trust his perfect timing. Of course, there have been moments of feeling alone, but I realized that singleness does not have to equal being alone.


1. Opened my eyes to experience more of the Father as my first love and the pursuer of my soul.

2. Pointed me to my true identity- not as a woman in a relationship, but as a daughter of the King.

3. Aligned my soul to my spirit.

My soul needed to get to the point of fully resting in the original design of my identity and know that as a daughter, that is enough.

Throughout my seasons of singleness, I found myself wondering why God would not fulfill my deepest desires even though I believed I sacrificed it all for Him.

When I heard God tell me to move to Oregon during my “prime” college years I :

-dropped everything for the call of God.

-interrupted my college degree to move out west.

-missed out on the typical relationship opportunities in college.

-sold/donated a good portion of my belongings.

-moved away from family.

-did all of this for Jesus.

-realized that running after the call of God was not for the faint of heart.

-hoped that God knew the amount I sacrificed to follow him.

-hoped that He would see my heart and my longing desires of family and marriage.

The time that seemed lost eventually created a hundred-fold return, but in a different way than I anticipated.

In a recap of a year:

God helped me graduate a year early from college, settled down in the Pacific North West, experienced the culture of working in the front lines of ministry, accepted a big girl job, and found myself surrounded with a community on fire for God and His Kingdom.

God showed up in an unexpected way as he fulfilled other desires that he had written on my heart. The things I have accomplished with the strength of God in the past year, I cannot even count. If my spiritual journey was measured in a resume, it would probably be around fifty pages long.

I’m not sure how things will look when I’m no longer single, but there has been much grace on this season of my life to run, run, run, and not look behind, but to keep running until I finish the race.

I will always continue to run full speed. Eventually, there will be someone who can catch up to me and align with my speed and the acceleration of where God is taking me and my future generation.

I can truly say that singleness saved my life and gave me “time” to find real intimacy with Jesus and allowed me tap into creative avenues that I never knew I possessed.

To lose myself, I gained:

A whole and healed heart.

Time redeemed.

New wine.








I want to finally say that I am with hands open wide ready to receive the inheritance God has stored up, positioning myself to experience what a holy and godly marriage looks like.

I hope this blog will bring healing to your soul. Your desires and dreams are seen by the Creator of the universe. Keep doing what you are doing. Seek the kingdom of God first and all these things will be added to you. Your labor is not in vain. The call of God is always worth it, friends!

Ten encouraging words about singleness:

1. Love is patient.

2. God does not withhold good gifts from his children.

3. He knows the desires of your heart.

4. It’s okay to dream with God.

5. You are perfectly and wonderfully made.

6. God is outside of time.

7. God is holding the whole world in His hands.

8. You can rest in His promises.

9. You won’t miss it when you are in tune with Holy Spirit.

10. There will be much fruition when you choose the kingdom of God first.

Victoria Alexandra's Blog
called to inspire